Since the Cold War, the secretive Dyadic Society has been stealthily sapping the strength of the software development community. Haven't heard of them? That just proves that they exist! To conceal the truth from programmers, the Dyads promote their ideology through proxies, using content-free blanket terms such as "best practices" and "design patterns."

You can fight the Dyads by avoiding so-called "best practices" such as

• polymorphism via classes and methods
• error handling via throwing and catching exceptions
• thread-safe code via objects and locks

Notice the dyads: throw and catch, class and method, object and lock. In this keynote, you will see what the Dyads fear most: a set of Triadic techniques that break the Dyadic chokehold on developers everywhere:

• polymorphism via structures, functions, and multiple dispatch
• error handling via signals, handlers, and restarts
• thread-safety via immutable data, references, and transactions

Remember: threedom is freedom.